There's an Inflamation in My Tear Gland

I have found a new appreciation for Flight of the Conchords.



I'm Not Crying
So, you're leaving, aren't you'
I knew it when you said just then when you told me you were leaving
That's when I definitely knew
But if you're trying to break my heart
Your plan is flawed from the start
You can't break my heart, it's liquid
It melted when I met you
And as you turn around to leave
Don't' turn back to me
Don't turn around and see if I'm crying
I'm not crying

I'm not crying
It's just been raining
on my face
And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks
Please. Please, don't tell my mates
I'm not crying
No, I'm not crying
And if I am crying
It's not because of you
It's because I'm thinking about a friend of mine who you don't know who is dying
That's right, dying
These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me
I've just been cutting onions
I'm making a lasagna
For one
Oh, I'm not crying
No
There's just a little bit of dust in my eye
That's from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I'm not weeping because you won't be here to hold my hand
For your information there's an inflammation in my tear gland
I'm not upset because you left me this way
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
They've been looking around
They're like searching for you
They've been looking for you
Even though I told them not to
These aren't tears of sadness
They're tears of joy
I'm just laughing
Ha ha ha-ha ha
I'm sitting at this table called love
Staring down at the irony of life
How come we've reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife'
I'm not crying
I'm not crying
I'm not cry-y-y-y-
-y-y-y-y-ing

I think you'll feel the same way :)

Are You Pretty?

So I have embarked on the long journey that is summer. Last week I clocked in an incredible 50 hours at work. 50 hours!! It was crazy to say the least. Now let me tell you about the night shift. 11pm until 7 am. You arrive. You clean. You prep. You help. You try not to fall asleep. Who comes into Subway at 3 in the morning, you might ask. There are 3 types of people: Cops, drunks, and highs (high people). I'm not sure which group I enjoy more. But the best conversation I've had to date would have to be the "Are you pretty convo." Let's recap.

"Subway, Culver and Michelson. How can I help you?"
"Is this Subway?"
"Yes"
"Are you open?"
"Yes"
"Are you serious?!"
"Yes"
"Are you my hero?"
"Maybe"
"What's your name?"
"Jessica"
"Ok Jessica, I'll be right in!"
"We'll see you then"

3 minutes later

"Subway, Culver and Michelson. How can I help you"
"Is this Jessica?"
"Yes"
"I just called a few minutes ago"
"Mhmm"
"Are you pretty?"
"You'll have to see for yourself"
"Do you have a facebook?"
"Yes"
"Ok. I won't ask for your last name, because that's just creepy"
"Ok"
"I'll be right in"
"Ok"

Needless to say, he never came in. That might have been awkward. But yes, that is what I have to deal with every time I work. And now, it's even during the day!

"Would you like anything else?"
"Maybe your number"
"What?"
"Sorry..."

Awkward pause

"He's going to ring you up over there. Have a nice day"

Regardless, I get paid. That's what keeps me going :)